Chris & Pitts No. 15

601 N Euclid St
Anaheim, CA92801
(714) 635-2601

Some people think that mad scientists build time machines out of Deloreans. I beg to differ, I say that they are made out of Chris and Pitts Bar-B-Q restaurants. Ask someone who grew up in Orange and LA County about barbecue and someone is guaranteed to mention Chris & Pitts. There are several that dot the landscape and the one that is graded here is the one in Anaheim. This way back machine took me back to a childhood I never had: one with brown, vinyl, buttoned crescent bench seats, faux-wood paneling, ceiling fans, fake green plants, sticky tables and a hint of “musty”.

As I glanced over the menu, it seemed like it went on and on, this was one large menu! However, for the literacy impaired it was also littered with a plethora of unflattering but realistic photographs of your lunchtime possibilities. Marge took my order (or her name could have been Marge) as I pondered over the Texas Hickory Smoked Bar-B-Q Ribs and the Bar-B-Q Brisket. But then I found the HAM! I asked Marge if the ham was smoked. It was so good of her to go the back and ask the cook. She returned with an affirmative and so it was done.

As the other patrons reprimanded their children for spilling their drinks, then reprimanded their spouse, while failing completely to reprimand themselves, I sat in my booth and tried to sit still. Every time I moved the seat creaked and made noises that sounded rude. Finally, Marge returned with my ham sandwich.

This was comfort food. Greasy, overly buttered bread, somewhat smoked ham and fries. I’m sure I walked out of there 10 lbs. heavier, I had begun the process of becoming like other guests. I started my car and quickly headed out to Disneyland to walk a few miles and burn some calories in a utopia of stressed, shouting parents and screaming children.

C-

Wood Ranch BBQ and Grill

El Paseo Plaza
22352 El Paseo
Rancho Santa Margarita

If you're ever unsure if a place serves up real BBQ, do what we did and call the place. "Hello. Yeah, we're really hungry for some good BBQ. Do you smoke the meat there? Answer: Yes, we have a two step process where we smoke the meat for hours overnight, then grill it before we serve it." Thanks, that's what we needed to know. Magic Box, take us there, Now!

Little did we know that this place was a real road trek from where were had called from. We headed north, through a valley of trailer parks, then up and over a couple of mountain ranges, clung to the single lane that was still in place since the other side crumbled into the wash below, up over another hill with sweeping views and multi-million dollar homes, then into some utopian suburban neighborhood filled with well-preened, well-to-do's with seemingly matching bleach-blond coiffures. Where the heck is this place! Finally, we found it, after about an hour and a half trek. This better be good!

The interior of this restaurant is of a modern architectural style with a combination of exposed wood, rock, and metallic surfaces. Although the service staff here are all dressed head to toe in black, slacks and collar shirts with ties. Is this really BBQ? As Good Bro #1 and I talk about our trek through the social-economic cross section of America to get here, our server appears. "Welcome to Wood Ranch. Can I start you off with something to drink?" I say, I'll have an ice tea. Unexpectedly, I got another question from our server, "Regular or passion?" Uh, what? I'll just stick with the regular, thanks. It was a bit noisy in the restaurant at the time, but did he say passion? Oh well. We've ordered up some thin fried onion strings, and a combination plate with beef ribs, pork ribs, and tri-tip with beans and coleslaw on the side.

Let the grading begin. The onion strings here were excellent. They were sliced very thin, were crispy, and not very oily. We would later find that the onion strings would reheat well and would be perfect to use for a good ol' fashioned green bean casserole. The ribs were tasty, with hints of spiciness, and not overcooked, but we both had a problem with the smothering sauce. Although I thought the sauce was pretty tasty, there was just too much of it coating the ribs - an unsettling common form of malpractice amongst the barbecue greats. The coleslaw was fresh and crunchy with peanuts and a tangy taste. The beans were also pretty good. The best on the dish was definitely the tri-tip. This was hands down the best tri-tip I have ever had with a nice smoky aroma and very tender. The Good Bros like cornbread, but we didn't see that option on the menu. : (

We left here with some leftovers in a bag that seemed worthy of treasures from Fashion Valley Mall and felt happy that the long trek here was at least worth it. Maybe we'll see a Wood Ranch open up in San Diego territory sometime. Time to drive home.

B+

Sweet Lumpy's BBQ

28464 Old Town Front St.
Temecula, CA 92590

There were big plans for this weekend and I'm not talking about partying. Partying is for college students who have not figured out yet that they have to make something of themselves before their student loans have to be paid back. No, these were plans for the focused type: the kind of effort that separates the weak from the strong, the bbq eaters from the aficionados. One free Saturday meant that it was time to head out to new territory. We were only sure of one target but we knew that Magic Box could take us to more options to fill the day.

A spirited ride to Old Town Front street took us to a thriving, pleasant, tourist trap known as Old Temecula. Temecula is known more for its wine country, a closer stopping off place for those who don't have the time or money for a Napa Valley tour. Little known to us, but if you wanted to get a dose of Wild West, this was the place to be. It looked like a new development versus the beautiful old wreck that you might find at Knott's Berry Farm's Ghost Town.

Toward the north end of the street is a place called Sweet Lumpy's, winner of the best ribs in the Inland Empire 2005 and Best Barbecue Restaurant on the Inland Empire 2006. It also sports a Barona award for ribs. The shop's patio welcomes you with a pleasant slotted roof covering, wood deck, and a slew of clever bbq memorabilia on the inside with scent of smoke tickling your olfactory. I'm excited. Looking over the menu and I could not resist the choices, I decided to go for the sampler: a plate of brisket, hot link, pulled pork, and ribs - goodness. WE'RE ALL IN BABY! Beans and sweet potato were the sides of choice as cornbread was already included. At $25 or so it was pricey but worth it - it's the first time it seems like I could get everything I wanted in one order.

Our number was called several times I would guess, but I was busy talking up how cool the place was and didn't hear it. I picked up the order and took it back to the table. We divied up the spoils and started to dig in. There was a little bit of pinkish sauce over the soggy, stringy, pulled pork. "Plop!" as I put some on good bros 2 plate. The taste of the sauce could only be described as one thing: SWEET AND SOUR. You know, like the La Choy variety!?! The brisket was also moist, but moist in a steamed kind of way, much like how I was starting to feel. Hot links are some of my favorite and this one had a nice carbon crusted exterior with a little sauce caramelized on it. As the knife pierced the link, the hot-dog-esque interior was exposed and so were Lumpy's inadequacies. I put that link in my mouth and nearly lost my breakfast. The taste was repulsive. The gooeyness of the cooked on sauce was sickening and I fought my body's desire to rid itself of this offense. I can only imagine that this must be what "cheesy feet smell" must taste like - it was that BAD.

I stupidly found some inner strength to look civilized around the other diners, only to try the sweet potatoes next. As a lifted lump of the strangely iridescent, "Cheetos orange" colored potatoes (you can't see that in the picture), I was distracted by the stringiness. It seems almost as if they had murdered a sweet potato that was trying to set its next progeny of taters in process. I need a break from this, maybe the corn bread would be a haven from this hellishness. As I cut the bread in half i came to a sad realization, the bread was sticky. I know spoonbread variates of corn bread and I actually like those but this was not that, it was undercooked yellow cake.

What was going on here? This place is buzzing with people? There is no way I could even finish this meal! I put my fork down and realized that I had been duped, Sweet Lumpy's is like a siren attracting visitors with a sweet facade only to rob you of your hard earned money in trade for a plate of dog food. It could only mean one thing:

F

Big Ernie's Rib Shack

News Flash!!!
Early reports indicate that a roving BBQ mobile is parking at the Vista Family Fun Fest....End of message.

Sir what should we do? We don't have any BBQ agents assigned to that territory! Relax kid, the Good Bros are already on it.

Yup, even BBQ on wheels can't escape detection by the Good Bros. In this case, we have Big Ernie's Rib Shack. This one has been on our radar for a long time. We were just waiting for it to come out into the open.

Before we even had a chance to taste the food, we stood in awe of the cool BBQ rig that Big Ernie had parked here. Imagine a log cabin with a huge BBQ pit out on the patio, then throw some wheels under it, and you've got yourself a nice setup for making BBQ. Big Ernie and family are here to show us what this rig can do.

As we looked over the menu and looked in our wallets, we found that we didn't have enough cash on hand to put Big Ernie's through a full test. We're gonna have to eat now, get money, and eat later. So we order up a rib combo plate with coleslaw and beans, and a hot link sandwich. The ribs were nicely done with a good smoky aroma and just a tad bit of char on the outside. The interior meat on the ribs was nice and tender, but not falling off the bone. Nice. The side dishes however didn't keep pace with the ribs. The coleslaw was mushy and the beans were just OK. The hot link was showing signs of aging with plenty of wrinkles and well passed retirement. The flavor of the hot link didn't seem to be outstanding either.

After eating, we told Ernie and family that we would be back for more. We reloaded at a nearby ATM and then there were, back at Big Ernie's to try out the beef sandwich. They were surprised to see us again. I guess they confused the Good Bros with ordinary customers.

The beef was good BBQ, with a nice smoke ring on the outer perimeter of the meat. The bun though really dragged down the quality of the sandwich. Yup, a BK bun again. Sad. The BBQ sauce was homemade, but the flavor didn't strike us as outstanding, it was sweet but one-dimensional. I preferred not using the BBQ sauce after just a few tastes of it.

All in all, Big Ernie's has got a good thing going, but still needs some work. Over and out.

C-

Mesquite Restaurant

9932 Mercy Road, Suite 108
San Diego, CA 92129
(858)693-6913

A light blue glow emanating from the neon sign above Mesquite beckons you to come in. Inside, a large mural of fish against a dark blue wall sit stark while the patrons sit on cush couches. This is no run of the mill bbq joint - it's hoidy toidy.

The main clientèle of Mesquite are the business class of people doing work in the Scripps Poway area. The prices show it - I would only approach this if I was on per diem. I was not on per diem and so I decided to take this food to go and avoid the tip. You can call me cheap but at least I know I'm poor.

The cooking technique here is straight forward but good. I'm hard pressed to call it barbecue. Their own description says "All entrees cooked over mesquite wood fire in our custom made rotisserie and cast iron grill." Grill I tell you!

With the Baby Back Ribs coming in at over $23 and me on my own, I figured that I should go for the Half Rotisserie Chicken at a meager $16, expecting good chicken, finally. Well, I can tell you that Costco sells just about the same chicken for $5. Really, the outer skin smelled great with that mesquite but the inside was just like Costco. The black beans were almost too healthy for my taste. The standout was the Green Chile Garlic sauce - it was a bright green sauce with a nice zing to it. The BBQ sauce actually didn't match the chicken at all. This might not be real bbq but it is okay if you like to pay for ambiance.

C

Crooms's Catering and BBQ

573 “H” Street
Chula Vista, CA 91910
(Across from the Chula Vista Mall)
(619) 585-7072 phone

Croom’s Catering & BBQ was established in 1993 as C&M Custom Party Planners. Since then they have been diversifying into a BBQ restaurant, cakes, and travel. I don't know how those got mixed together but I guess if you have the means and the know how, you do it!

Maybe the Good Bros. can work with them to put a BBQ tour that takes you all over So. Cal tasting BBQ? You can ask for the C grade tour or the B grade tour.

Croom's was voted "BEST RIBS" at the Barona Ribfest 2005 so we invited a few people with us who were all revved up to have some BBQ and then they found out we were taking them to... Chula Vista. The parking lot said much, the broken sign, the shoes on the power lines hung by the laces, a fascinating glue pattern on the wall.


Once you walk in, the Gospel music puts you in a festive mood and the Crooms welcome you with a smile - that is if you are from around there. When we walked in, they looked at us like we were lost. I guess we stick out of the crowd. There's a lot of love in this place and in the short time we were there they took the time to feed the hungry and give some food away - Thank you Jesus! It's nice to see that some people are bold enough to wear their belief on their sleeve in a society that goes out of their way to criticize and stereotype any believer. Interestingly enough the place also has lasagna - I stopped myself from asking if it was smoked.

The first look at the food and my heart stopped - this sure looks like Huffman's. That's a bad thing. It's said that they have an outdoor pit to smoke the meats but you wouldn't know it because of how much sauce is on it. The sauce was a sour flavor, very acidic, Good Bro 2 got his variety spicy and he paid for it - it was hot! The ribs were not what we expected considering a contest win but maybe that shows that the Good Bros have a chance. The chicken suffered much the same problem that the ribs had - too much sauce. The beef sandwich was the same too much sauce and the beef was really tough. It was very nice of the cook to come out and check on us and see how things were going. I couldn't resist smiling and saying everything's great. There's just an energy about the place. Actually, there were some highlights to the place: the cornbread and the beans.

The beans were the one thing that I would stop for if I was around the town. It's a bit of the drive from North County but man, those beans were good. Remember that when you are in Chula Vista selling off your used car, stop by say hello to the Crooms and get some beans and cornbread on your way home and get your spirits lifted.

D+

Ramon's Smokehouse BBQ

1730 Alpine Blvd
Alpine, CA

Are we just gonna sit here like bumps on a pickle and wish we were back at Lucille's for some pulled pork and fried onion strings. No. There's work to be done. BBQ to be explored. Spin the wheel and let's see who's next. The wheel is spinning slower, and slower ....... and the winner is.... Ramon's Smokehouse.
Let's go!

This place was a little bit of a drive, but hey, the Good Bros have travelled farther than this to find good BBQ. We actually drove past this place because it's tucked away in the corner of a little shopping center, almost embarrassed to show itself. Eventually we double-backed and found it, not by our usual method of "follow your nose", but through the keen eyesight of Good Bro #1. He spotted the little sign out front.

Ramon's looks like a small town restaurant, with the seating capacity for a about a van-load of people. The restaurant is very "dog themed", specifically chihuahuas. There was a slight smell of smoke in the air, but is it going to be on the meat? Who knows? Let's order.

Dr. Q and his assistant were with us on this outing, which meant we could try just about everything on the menu. The list of food we ordered included beef ribs, beef brisket, pulled pork, and hot links. To our disappointment, nothing was worth trying a second time. The brisket, pulled pork, and hot links had no apparent smokiness to them. Alright ribs, it's up to you. Can you save the day? Not today. The ribs did have a smokiness to them, but they were dry and fatty at the same time. The BBQ sauce here was another Wrangler version with quite a bit more vinegar taste. The coleslaw, looking wilted and worn out, was a big disappointment to me because I like coleslaw. The beans were OK, if you don't expect too much, but nowhere near the full, smoky flavor of a great bowl of beans. Good Bro #1 took the time to really enjoy the corn bread muffin, it was chewy and tough like something that would be reheated.

The one thing Ramon's has going for it is that it is original. It's not just another fast food BBQ joint like many others spouting up all over town. It also provides a place for people in Alpine to go get their BBQ fix, if they're within walking distance. If you are a hunter, you can smoke your bird for $1.25 per pound - what a deal! If you have the keys to the van though, load up and head out to one of the few good BBQ places we've reviewed. Have fun on the BBQ trail.

D+

Lucille's Smokehouse BBQ

7411 Carson St.
Long Beach, CA 90808
562-938-RIBS (7427)
www.lucillesbbq.com

You can call the Good Bros all kinds of things, but you can't call them quitters! Apparently, finding "A" grade BBQ in San Diego is as hard as getting the stock market to settle on the price of pork bellies. Out of necessity, it was time to expand our horizons and search for BBQ in unexplored lands. But where to go? No worry, we will use our handy Magic Box* to direct us to new northern frontiers. "Magic Box, we need BBQ in near Buena Park" So, we plugged in our destination - Lucille's Smokehouse BBQ.

"Destination, 5,3mi. Turn left in 500ft and prepare to merge right"

As amazing as Magic Box is, it can only tell us WHERE, not HOW GOOD. Once Magic Box told us we had arrived at our destination, squinting at a sea of neon glow. We drove through the maze of cookie cutter shops and restaurants looking frantically for our prize, and there it was: Lucille's. Smoke rises from the stack, and Tamara the White welcomes and invites us in.

To our disappointment, we couldn't be seated immediately at a table, so we were handed a branded pager and waited. This part was a little tough for the Good Bros. since we both were still on edge after several roller coaster rides and the BBQ debacle we refer to as Joe Cool's Big Mistake. Thankfully, the wait was actually good for us and helped us focus on the task at hand.

The waiting room at Lucille's, unlike many other restaurants, felt a lot like the back patio of a comfortable house. All rattan on the inside, and 50's diner seating in the bar called When Pigs Fly - this was our home for 20 minutes. After a long day, sitting on a comfy wicker couch almost made us forget that we came here to try the food. Buzzzzzzzzzz. Our table is ready!


Our table #1 was next to the Zagat survey plaques and the door. Seemed like Lucille was trying to say "like it or get out." Once seated, we were eager to look over the menus. Wow! Look at all the food options here. After several minutes of tossing around ideas of what to eat, and some helpful suggestions, we were set. I'll take an order of the pulled pork sandwich with the coleslaw and baked beans. Good Bro #1 is going with the beef brisket and sweet potatoes. Oh, the fried shoestring red onion appetizer looks too good to pass up. We'll take an order of that to keep us company in the meantime.

As Tamara approached, we were glad we didn't stay on the comfy couch in the waiting room. Our playfully, patient server brought the food just as we finished gorging ourselves on fresh bread and apple butter. The food looked really good, and the aroma of real BBQ told us was time to eat. One whiff of the pulled pork and you can smell that hickory smoke. It was good enough to put in your pocket or wear it as a mustache. The brisket looked good, but seemed a little tough and oily. Good Bro #1 claimed that it melts in your mouth if you kept it in the side like chewing tobacco. The sweet potatoes had good color and texture, good enough satisfy the craving of mashed potatoes and a dessert. This BBQ joint didn't have cornbread - don't know why. But they might as well not have coleslaw either. The coleslaw didn't have that slightly sweet tangy taste, but was really just a small stack of freshly grated cabbage and nuts better suited for fish tacos. We didn't think the BBQ sauces were much to brag about either. Twist off the sticky cap, one taste and it was confirmed - ketchup and corn syrup. Didn't bother us though since the pulled pork and brisket, with that great smoky aroma, tasted fine without the sauce.

The service here was great, although our server seemed scared of us. (We got excited about the scent of hickory that filled the restaurant when the smoker was being loaded.) She hung in there and made our dining experience here fun. Thanks Lucille for the great time, and the great food. As we say,
"See you next Saturday!"

B+

* a cell phone with navigation service, affectionately called "Magic Box"

Memphis Championship BBQ by Dr. Q

The Good Bros. were not on this trip so we don't have a review but Dr. Q did submit his white paper report:

Read Dr. Q's White Paper

Fireman's BBQ - Knott's Berry Farm

Located in the Ghost Town area of Knott's Berry Farm is this little place called Fireman's BBQ. It claims it's the best BBQ in town, but remember were in a replica of an old ghost town, in a theme park. With that in mind, I think the line should read "We're the only BBQ place in town. Take it or leave it!" Having not eaten all day, the clock counting down minutes to 5:00pm, and our stomachs screaming to feed them, the Good Bros took on the challenge.

I think you could get on the most popular ride in the park quicker than you could order and get your food at this place. If I keel over from starvation, are they gonna make my skeleton part of the Ghost Town attraction? Don't get me wrong. I like the look of the Ghost Town at Knott's, (a lot of the props used seem to be authentic) but I want to go home at the end of the day.

By the time we finally got our food, just about anything edible would have looked good to us at that point. Looking back, I regret not following Good Bro #1 in getting the Jr. Fireman's meal here. I didn't think the kid's meal that included teddy bear cookies would hold me over for the rest of the day. Instead, I ordered up a BBQ chicken and ribs combo meal. Bad choice. The meat on both the ribs and the chicken were like leather, and the BBQ sauce was like a mixture of 5 parts oil to 1 part solids. If you're starting to feel sick, imagine how I felt, especially after spinning my stomach around on rides like GhostRider and the Silver Bullet. Good Bro #1 decided to go with some fresh roasted corn at a different vendor to complement his junior meal. The corn roaster was an interesting contraption, it resembled a big steel box with a ferris wheel inside to hold the corn. The baked potato that came with my chicken/rib combo meal was probably the only thing I should have eaten. Good Bro #1 rated the corn as the most pleasing part of the meal, followed by the bear cookies, Doritos, berry juice and then the chicken.

We were both rather parched and the thought of getting fresh squeezed lemonade to complement the meal was the perfect thought. Approaching the window with glee gave way to disappointment when the cashier said that they had run out of lemons. "Run out of lemons?" How could a lemonade stand at a theme park run out of lemons? Aren't theme Parks all about excess? So, we had to concede defeat and just try Knott's Famous Berry Juice. This Famous Juice was basically Kool-Aid. The kind of juice that would probably leave you with a joker smile if you didn't drink it through a straw.

Experience and common sense should tell us that you're not going to get "good" food at a theme park, but shouldn't it at least be somewhat edible? When at Knott's Berry Farm, enjoy the rides and the cool features of the Ghost Town attraction , but please, try to hold off on eating until you get out of the park. Head on over to Lucille's Smokehouse, just minutes down the road for some good stuff. Full review on Lucille's coming up.

D-

Geno's West Coast BBQ

291 W. Main Street
El Cajon

Hmmm. Getting hungry for some barbeque again. Let's try that place over there called "Geno's" that looks like an old Taco Bell restaurant. Might be good.

Actually, I didn't just stroll into Geno's on a whim, but I was hungry. I've heard that this place is pretty good, so in we go. Actually Good Bro #1 beat me to it. He visited here earlier in the day and saved some corn bread for us to analyze back at the cave. I'm gonna have to keep watch on Good Bro #1 trying to get a head start on a review. Man, he's on the BBQ fast track!

I'm sure they don't have a dress code at Geno's, but I think you might feel a little out place if you're not in beachwear. The look here is definitely Pacific Island, maybe Hawaiian? The poor panda bears at the zoo must have been on low food rations for a few days after Geno used up all the bamboo in the county to decorate the restaurant. Hey, don't forget the tiki torches and the artwork on the walls to remind you of your last trip to Hawaii. OK, come on, you're really in El Cajon, see the green cafeteria chairs and the tables. See the little sign on the wall that encourages patience to get your food? OK, let's order.

Whoa! Hey wait a minute. I don't see anything on the menu that looks familiar. That's because most of the food items have been given a name. Kind of cool, but that means you can't just grunt, "gimme pulled pork". No, that one is called the "Wipe Out". "Gimme ribs". Oh, you mean one of the "Shortboards". There are others too like Rip Curl= hot dog, Hang Ten= BLT. For all the "I'm tired of burgers", people out there, rejoice because you can get the "Un-Burger" here. It's a tri-tip sandwich.

So I went with the Wipe Out and a combo rib, chicken dinner with two sides (coleslaw and cornbread). The Wipe Out, pulled pork sandwich with slaw on top, was right up the barrel. I had to give up after eating part of the chicken and ribs though. Not sure if I was just full, they didn't impress me all that much, or I got tired of the soy flavored BBQ sauce. The three sauces are all the same here, only they vary in heat factor. I wouldn't call them teriyaki sauce because to me teriyaki has a more fruity taste. This one has a more sweet molasis and soy sauce flavor. I have to say, the best part of the meal were the side dishes. The block of corn bread was large, had good texture, grilled on both sides, and tasted good. The coleslaw was just the right texture and flavor for me. The garlic bread strips were also good stuff. I smelled them even before I pulled them out of the bag.

Good thing I got in here right before they locked down the place. If you want to drop by to pickup some food, get here before 8:00pm because that's when the doors close and lock for the day. We found that out the hard way last week when we got there at 8:15pm. I'll be back for another Wipe Out and some cornbread. See you there.

C+

Original Roadhouse Grill

9816 Mission Gorge Rd
Santee, CA 92071

Well, to our loyal fan, I want you to know that the Good Bros are not getting soft on our quest to find barbeque. We were on our way to Geno’s but much to our dismay, they decided to close at 8pm. Just our luck, after a hard day’s work we thought that we deserved some good barbeque. So we had to regroup and think fast: A friend said that we should try some ribs at this one place. it wasn’t really known for barbeque but the ribs we worth trying.

The place was Roadhouse Grill - I can think of one thing that was wrong with the name, “grill” that’s not really what we are about. At 8:30pm with not lunch or dinner so far, these are desperate times, and we have to take extreme measures to make sure that we get our nutritional BBQ requirements, so we decided to walk in. The Doors were rocking throughout the place, one of those 15 minute songs hearkening back to an era when musicians could hold a drug-induced trance and still make good music.

“Two for the bar,” the hostess asked. “No, we need a table.” I guess she might be used to the droves of people walking in off of work to have a couple of hours of down time. But we’re the Good Bros. and we mean business. Now if you haven’t been to Roadhouse make sure that you don’t wear your best clothes. As we were told, the place is a sty because of all the peanuts that you can eat and throw on the ground, or at each other. This definitely came in handy as we waited for our St. Louis Ribs and Grilled Shrimp.

Well folks, we gave it a shot. Butlemmetellyawut - the sauce was actually pretty good, a nice tomato-based flavor with some sweet and spicy tones, and a good thick consistency. (Reminiscent of what the Wrangler offered.) One needs as much of this as they can get because the ribs were as dry as a desert and the meat did not have any flavor at all. The chili didn’t seem like they came out of a can but they did have a weird aftertaste. The fresh rolls were warm and sweet, and went well with the even sweeter whipped margarine that they served it with. Yeah, margarine. That’s not the worst of it, the grilled shrimp had a strong pungent gun-powdery smell, like it was shot out of a shotgun to be flash cooked. The dipping sauce wasn’t butter either, it was some kind of lubricant like WD-40.

I guess this all goes with the Americana chain restaurant’s theme. There were classic gas pump replica’s and all kinds of old signage on the wall mixed in with the glowing , neon beer signs. I thought about the poor chaps that sacrificed themselves to make the tables at the joint, what a waste. As we pushed through the doors, Lynard Skynard poured out the speakers and onto the parking out. Our job was done, check this one off the list.

D-

Tyler's Taste of Texas

576 N. 2nd Street
El Cajon

On a mission to fill up the fuel tank for my grill, I was in the neighborhood of Taste of Texas. It was about lunch time, so I decided to drop in and order something to go. If you want to instantly transport yourself to a truck stop somewhere on a lonely Texas highway, this is the place to go. It's full of stuff that says "I'm in Texas". There is a lot of variety on the menu here trying to serve up breakfast, lunch, and dinner, Texas style. They even have a bakery.

I've usually ordered up some version of a combination plate at a lot of the other BBQ places the Good Brothers have reviewed, but I guess I just wasn't hungry enough to try that this time. I ordered a bbq beef sandwich with some coleslaw to go. The sandwich was pretty darn big for the money, unfortunately, the taste was not so big. The filling on this sandwich was chopped bits of yesterday's beef swimming in a dark, sweet BBQ sauce. I was happy to see that I didn't get a BK bun on this one, instead it was a large onion sub roll. The coleslaw was not what I would call good. It was like it had been rinsed a few times then clumped up into my styrofoam container.

Texas is legendary for great BBQ, but I guess you'll have to pack up the wagon and go there to get it because I don't think you'll find it at Taste of Texas. If you make it to the real Texas, can you order up some BBQ for me too?

D

Joey's Smokin' BBQ

4645 Carmel Mtn Rd
San Diego, CA 92130

Did I take a wrong turn and end up at Lightning Jack’s again? No, it’s right, Joey’s Smokin’ BBQ is set in a strip mall between Starbuck’s and Daphne’s with a fountain feature just like Lightning Jack’s, go back and check the review yourself. This place, however, is not set in the Clairemont hood but the much more affluent neighborhood of Torrey Hills in the Carmel Valley area.

Too late for lunch, and too early for dinner, I walked towards an empty store. Luckily, they had something called the Southern Sampler which could give me a taste of their Pulled Pork, Pulled Chicken, and brisket in one order. The chaps behind the counter recommended the cornbread and beans highly so I took their advice.

As I listened to the bluesy music playing in the background, I looked around my environment and could honestly say that this place didn’t really scream BBQ. In a few more minutes, there they were: my Southern Sliders. I took them to a table outside to catch some of the last hours of light. My, there they were: the plain white bread rolls filled with meat. A small cup of beans, and a birthday “cornbread” cupcake that was too sweet and soggy. How underwhelming. Let’s get back to the chase. The brisket was the most edible, probably because it was still moist. The pulled pork comes in next, and then the chicken was basically inedible because it was dry and tasteless. The spices that were dusted on the meat after cooking was all over the place and it was likely a mix of chili, paprika, and garlic. Sounds better than it tastes. The sauce was used sparingly but tasted artificial. (And this Joey’s Smokin BBQ place is going to be popping up all over San Diego and Orange County over the next year???)

As I trudged through my meal I watched a troupe of teenage girls on their cell phones calling their parents to be picked up. In a few minutes a parade of Mercedes, Volvos, Hummers, and BMW SUVs pickup their corresponding princesses and finally the air is cleared of their celluar-ly intended hormonal banter. I looked out in the distance where a hideous yellow Bently was parked and thought to myself, “Gosh, all that money and you don’t have any taste selecting a proper color for such a car” and then I thought again, “All the money around Torrey Hills and they can’t buy decent BBQ that has any taste.” So there you have it, NO TASTE coming to a strip mall near you. Yay : (

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