28464 Old Town Front St.
Temecula, CA 92590
There were big plans for this weekend and I'm not talking about partying. Partying is for college students who have not figured out yet that they have to make something of themselves before their student loans have to be paid back. No, these were plans for the focused type: the kind of effort that separates the weak from the strong, the bbq eaters from the aficionados. One free Saturday meant that it was time to head out to new territory. We were only sure of one target but we knew that Magic Box could take us to more options to
fill the day.
A spirited ride to Old Town Front street took us to a thriving, pleasant, tourist trap known as Old Temecula. Temecula is known more for its wine country, a closer stopping off place for those who don't have the time or money for a Napa Valley tour. Little known to us, but if you wanted to get a dose of Wild West, this was the place to be. It looked like a new development versus the beautiful old wreck that you might find at Knott's Berry Farm's Ghost Town.
Toward the north end of the street is a place called Sweet Lumpy's, winner of the best ribs in the Inland Empire 2005 and Best Barbecue Restaurant on the Inland Empire 2006. It also sports a Barona award for ribs. The shop's patio welcomes you with a pleasant slotted roof
covering, wood deck, and a slew of clever bbq memorabilia on the inside with scent of smoke tickling your olfactory. I'm excited. Looking over the menu and I could not resist the choices, I decided to go for the sampler: a plate of brisket, hot link, pulled pork, and ribs - goodness. WE'RE ALL IN BABY! Beans and sweet potato were the sides of choice as cornbread was already included. At $25 or so it was pricey but worth it - it's the first time it seems like I could get everything I wanted in one order.
Our number was called several times I would guess, but I was busy talking up how cool the place was and didn't hear it. I picked up the order and took it back to the table. We divied up the spoils and started to dig in. There was a little bit of pinkish sauce over the soggy, stringy, pulled pork. "Plop!" as I put some on good bros 2 plate. The taste of the sauce could only be described as one thing: SWEET AND SOUR. You know, like the La Choy variety!?! The brisket was also moist, but moist in a steamed kind of way, much like how I was starting to feel. Hot links are some of my favorite and this one had a nice carbon crusted exterior with a little sauce caramelized on it. As the knife pierced the link, the hot-dog-esque interior was exposed and so were Lumpy's inadequacies. I put that link in my mouth and nearly lost my breakfast. The taste was repulsive. The gooeyness of the cooked on sauce was sickening and I fought my body's desire to rid itself of this offense. I can only imagine that this must be what "cheesy feet smell" must taste like - it was that BAD.
I stupidly found some inner strength to look civilized around the other diners, only to try the sweet potatoes next. As a lifted lump of the strangely iridescent, "Cheetos orange" colored 
potatoes (you can't see that in the picture), I was distracted by the stringiness. It seems almost as if they had murdered a sweet potato that was trying to set its next progeny of taters in process. I need a break from this, maybe the corn bread would be a haven from this hellishness. As I cut the bread in half i came to a sad realization, the bread was sticky. I know spoonbread variates of corn bread and I actually like those but this was not that, it was undercooked yellow cake.
What was going on here? This place is buzzing with people? There is no way I could even finish this meal! I put my fork down and realized that I had been duped, Sweet Lumpy's is like a siren attracting visitors with a sweet facade only to rob you of your hard earned money in trade for a plate of dog food. It could only mean one thing:
F
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Sweet Lumpy's BBQ
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5 comments:
Well first I would like to start off by saying that I completely DISAGREE with you! I don’t know if you just don’t know what good barbeque tastes like or if your taste buds are messed up. I would like to let it be known that I have tried just about everything on Sweet Lumpy’s menu and I love it all. My friends that I have introduced to Sweet Lumpy’s, who happen to be from the south, say this is the best and only good barbeque they have had since they moved to California. I have to say the chicken is my favorite, but that is just a personal choice, I prefer chicken. The baby back pork ribs are delicious and the fall off the bone they are so tender. The pulled pork sandwich is the best I have ever had and anywhere else I try it, it just is not the same and doesn’t even come close to the juiciness of the one at Sweet Lumpy’s. The BBQ Sauce makes the already delicious meat stand out even more in my book, the sweet recipe is perfect although I prefer something with a little kick, so I usually grab the spicy sauce!
I have to say you made the mistake of not picking up your food when it was first ready, if you were there to test out the food then you should have been waiting for it to be ready. The customer service there is excellent and the staff will try and bring the food out to you, but they don’t always have the time, and like you said they were very busy that day. As I said the staff try to accommodate everyone, so if instead of sitting and sulking in meat that you felt was inadequate you had told someone they most likely would have replaced it with a serving that was more to your liking, because just like people not all meat is perfect therefore it does not all cook the same and there are the rare mistakes, but they will fix them if they are given the chance. So unlike your rating I give this an A+, for best barbeque and I’m sure more people agree with me than with you!
Well ok! Let me just say this is why I like barbeque so much. People have strong feelings about it. I admit, I could almost have just as passionate a conversation about cheese puffs. I see your point about standing next to the busy counter waiting for the food but I was rather excited about the environs.
God only knows how long (or short) the food waited but I can't say that would have changed the flavor. I don't feel that my taste buds are messed up but perhaps our preferences for food are completely opposite of each other! Dare I ask are there any other barbeque places that we've both been to? Maybe we can spot a trend?
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